She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
