...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
