booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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