i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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