We're facebook friends in real life
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
