i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm like, not good at living.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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