he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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