dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
