Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
