is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
