i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
