I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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