I've blown a few things in my day
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
