problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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