I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
