Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I love you.
Bad choice
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
