I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
