the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
