he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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