"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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