HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
