I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
