Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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