I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
