goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
