dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
