Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
