So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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