I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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