Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
