we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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