proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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