A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
