I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
