you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
