I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize