I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
