I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
