last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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