Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
