I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
