do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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