I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment