There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
