I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
