My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
