Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
