i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
