try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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