I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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