I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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