Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Still dying that you shit outside
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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