We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
