Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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