3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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