its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
