We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
