if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
