Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
