i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Life without a bra equals bliss.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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