As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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