I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize