There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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