I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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