It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
