epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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