Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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