i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
